Love?

Those who ever fall for a much older man, would know it's would really take a long time, to forget them and move on.

They are so much wiser, so much more experience, a different perspective.

Yes. I guess for some it is gross to say he will be like a father you want, but never had. Yet he is also more than that. People like me, who never quite love before, are pre-dispose to this kind of relationship.

He always know how to take care of me. Fixes stuff around the houses. He can talks in public. Proudly, very elegance..

Sometimes I do wonder, was I searching for substitute for love I never get from my father when I am with him?

Or do he simply represent everything i always wanted all my life?

I can't let go.

Happily never after

Can't shake the thought when your boyfriend ask you to search for a richer man. Sound advice I would said. Especially if he is currently umemployed, for a few months now.

I am getting frustrated as well trying to help him back on his feet. I understand things can be fruitless, efforts could be wasted; but simply saying it's not easy, then not trying. 

I feel like I am being blamed, for his career failure. I was not the person who makes him come here, and stayed. I was not the person who made him cancelled his concerts, quits his jobs and moved continence on fake promises.

Why do I still still willingly take up the blames? Is it what Love like? Willing to carry the burdens of another person? 

Need all the luck I can get.